Inner Child Healing

What is the Inner Child? 

The term “inner child” refers to the wounding each of us carry from our early life experiences.

Each one of us got hurt, felt abandoned, rejected, unwanted, to different degrees, when we were a child. Each one of us felt jealous, resentful, and angry many times as children. These emotions (and wounding) don't disappear as we get older, but get buried deep down in our psyche.

If you are like most people, your parents didn’t know how to make space for your emotions when you were a child. And you can learn to make space for the child in you now, as an adult. 

How to be Aware of the Child in You

The child in us is often driving us behind the curtains when we get reactive, when we suddenly feel disappointed, very lonely, overwhelmed, powerless, and hopeless.  

You can tell you’re being driven by the wounded child in you if you have a disproportionate reaction to an event. This is often a sign that past wounding is getting activated and it is best to slow down and connect with how you feel. 

The child in us carries our most painful shame, our most excruciating guilt, and our deepest fears. We are very often not aware of the child in us and sometimes these unfelt emotions can unleash great confusion and reactivity in our lives. 

The child in you needs you the most in moments when:

- You feel reactive about something someone said or done

- You collapse energetically and feel hopeless and powerless

- You feel emotionally flat and numb

- You crave attention, company, or feeling good

- You try to please people by doing the “right” thing

- You try to be the “nice” guy or girl to avoid confrontation

- You suddenly begin to question yourself and your life choices

- You feel unworthy and undeserving of good things 

How to heal your inner child? 

As we connect with and make space for the wounded child in us, we tend to feel more whole, more open and properly boundaried, more empowered, grounded, and at peace. 

In somatic therapy sessions, I help my clients explore, get in touch with, and learn to both care for and protect the wounded child within. 

As you learn to create a healthy container of healing and awareness around the child in you, this child begins to soften, to open, to heal and digest early wounding. There is often great learning and growth in this process. 

As we heal, we deepen as human beings and begin to mature as adults. 

Why Inner Child Healing Matters

The wounded inner child is our sensitivity and vulnerability. 

A lot of people struggle in their relationships (and especially romantic relationships) because they’ve never learned how to protect themselves emotionally. 

When we get in touch with the child within, we know right away why it is important to protect this sensitive place in us. We need to learn to speak up when we feel hurt, shamed, or afraid so that we can offer clarity in our relationships and perhaps also make requests. 

For as long as we are not aware of the wounded child in us, we are at the mercy of unknown forces driving our lives. This disconnection within can cause chronic anxiety and depression, unfulling relationships, self-sabotage, etc. 

The Gifts of the Inner Child

The child in us is not only pain and suffering, shame and fear, it is also our most expansive joy and spontaneity, our natural openness and curiosity, our healthy innocence and beauty. 

As we learn to be with the child in us, as we learn to accept and love this child, the above qualities begin to manifest themselves more and more fully in our lives. 

We begin to feel a deep joy, groundedness, and inner peace independent of outer circumstances. We begin to feel whole and at home in ourselves. 

What is Inner Child Work?

In somatic therapy sessions, I help my clients get in touch with their pain and emotions. As we do this, each person’s early wounding becomes obvious. 

I guide you into feeling your pain and emotions without getting lost in them. As you get in touch with your wounding, you learn to be with and make space for your pain - without trying to change how you feel. 

You begin to digest your wounds and free yourself from heaviness, numbness, shame, guilt, fears, and reactivity.  

The Role of Self-Compassion in Inner Child Work

Getting in touch with the child in us is the beginning of a very deep healing adventure in which self-acceptance and self-compassion begin to result in unconditional joy. 

When we open to our pain with tenderness and compassion, our whole attitude in life begins to shift. We find that wholeness is always available no matter what is happening in our lives. We can get in touch with our healthy power and self-worth and embrace challenging situations with dignity and courage. 

Self-Parenting and Healthy Boundaries 

As our healing deepens, we become the parent we’ve always needed. 

We become a true protector of the sensitivity and vulnerability in us. We become capable of speaking up and saying “no” when necessary. We become very aware when someone crosses a boundary of ours and we get skilled at handling misunderstandings and conflicts in our relationships. 

We begin to see and take care of our needs properly. This is the opposite of self-neglect and self-abandonment. We become our greatest ally along with those closest to us. 

This self-honouring allows the child in us to fully let go and open, revealing joy and happiness we can share with those around us. 

To learn more about inner child work, visit my page here.