Anger unexplored is anger misused

If we define power as the capacity to act, then we can be compassionate only to the extent that we know what we are doing with our power.

Exploring our power includes deeply investigating and becoming genuinely curious about the impact of our behaviours on others. This is the birth of true responsibility and maturity, born not out of a sense of burden or obligation, but out of genuine concern and mature love.

We become expressions of true sanity only when our power and love begin to work together. 

Without healthy power, an open heart doesn’t have the necessary grounding and safety to let it dance freely and fully. And power without love can make a lot of fuss without any tenderness or beauty, making us bitter and closed off as a result. 

Change the word power here with anger. 

Without healthy anger to protect our vulnerability when such protection is needed, we won’t feel safe enough to fully open and deepen in our humanity. And anger becomes bitterness and a source of aggression and isolation when it remains disconnected from the vulnerability and tenderness of the heart. 

What a shame many spiritual people tend to value compassion and love without paying much attention to their power and anger - often doing nothing to unearth, explore, and more sanely embody them! 

We can talk endlessly about love while being blind to how much of our anger we repress and turn into passive aggression, self-blame, and overall plain disconnection.  

It is easy (and perhaps convenient) to forget that feeling thoroughly empowered within is a prerequisite for the heart to break open more and more deeply to reveal a love that cannot be contained. 

And why do we try to postpone or altogether avoid such deep exploration of our power and anger? Because it is so damn painful. 

It is painful to get in touch with our buried, repressed, abused anger. Getting in touch with our anger implies getting in touch with what matters to us and that hurts!

Exploring our anger often reveals deep hurt that cuts right into us. 

This kind of anger dances together with significance and vulnerability, with what truly matters and the loss of it.

Love and hurt, joy and pain, gratitude and loss are the domains of heart anger. And so is an awake, mature sense of healthy shame and responsibility. 

The more we own our power and anger and see through the ways that we have misused them in the past, the more sanely we begin to live and love now.

This seeing into our own journey of maturation catalyzes our healthy shame and remorse for the times we’ve hurt others. 

Healthy shame frees us along with self-forgiveness and can help us repair damage and rebuild trust with those we have disrespected or hurt. Healthy shame restores our integrity and common humanity and deepens our connection with others. We become more aware of and more attuned to people’s healthy boundaries. 

For as long as we don’t explore our anger, none of this is possible. 

It is not enough to have a tender heart and good intentions if we are unaware of what we do and how our actions are impacting others! 

Embodying healthy power and becoming response-able require that I investigate deeply the moments when I become either collapsed and frozen or reactive and aggressive. Power is dynamic energy that remains ready to use in any given moment - on tap. 

When our healthy anger is on tap, we become highly capable of navigating relationships since we can express and stand behind our healthy boundaries without giving into fear of hurting others or self-doubt. 

As we unearth, explore, and embody these capacities we also encounter our natural self-worth - that we are worthy of our sane self-protection, that it is okay to say “no,” that we don’t owe people anything just because we care about them!

Guilt free living.

Such freedom allows us to be who we are instead of having to pretend in various ways to be “happy” or playing the “nice guy” or “sweet girl” simply out of fear.

Power is our birthright and so are peace and love. Explore and keep exploring your power as well as anger and you shall find through this deep dive much more than what you’re longing for. 


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